Cancer, half-eaten ice cream cones and Hans Christian Andersen

“Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.” - Hans Christian Andersen

Photos taken on August 8th, 2016

I wheeled Mom five miles through Central Park and then we took these pictures. It was a hot, August day and she had just been transferred to the Helmsley Medical Tower, a hotel where she’d stay under supervision for two more weeks (we joked that she was going on vacation). It was her first weekend outside of Presbyterian hospital in a month.

Mom refused to take pictures with me so I snuck a picture of her with her hat and decided to pose with Hans Christian Andersen instead. I forced Mom to buy a vanilla ice cream cone that she was eyeing which she later threw out, claiming she was “too nauseas to eat it”. We sat by a fountain watching as so much life happened around us.

I remember holding back tears. I was sitting on a bench next to my Mom in her wheelchair. We were outside. I hadn’t sat outside with Mom in over a month. She hadn’t smelled fresh air since before we admitted her for her bone marrow transplant - she didn’t even want to go outside, I had to beg her. She was so used to beeping monitors, morphine and latex gloves that real life lost its appeal.

We were both exhausted for different reasons, we hardly exchanged any words. I felt pressured to do anything I could to brighten her day. She just wanted to get through the day without anymore medical complications.

We continued around Central Park and when the sun became too much I wheeled her all the way back. The next day, my legs ached but I didn’t care. I would have wheeled her five more.